Mood Roller Coaster and Health: Obsession, Fear, Anxiety and Frustration

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So, I thought I’d tell my story here of my own issues relating to health I’ve faced – particularly the past 2-3 years.  I want to share this as I realize there are many like me who have also been frustrated, chose to make this a “battle,” have had an emotional roller coaster of ups/downs, have been living a “half-life,” have been feeling isolated, have isolated themselves, and have arranged their lives around their own debilitating illness that most doctors cannot identify or treat properly.  I’ve realized recently that all the fear, anxiety and frustration I’ve experienced in this “creative illness” process was only making my issue worse, weakening my spleen system (my digestion, taking energy away from it) with overthinking, worry, anxiety, obsession and most of all, just plain frustration along with an engulfing feeling of overwhelm from all the conflicting information I found on the net.  In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) – Frustration relates to the Liver in form of Liver stagnation or Liver Invading Spleen and overthinking relates to Spleen Deficiency.

 

I’ve been living a life from a victim-complex which fetches friends- helplessness, powerlessness, and feelings of unworthiness for the ride.  Shackles….Shackles… I keep reading about being “released from your shackles” and I read this in an evaluation given to me last year by a peer about me on my counselor traits (in Masters of Counseling program).

Keyword I’ve realized is Frustration which stems from anxiety.  There’s two kinds: internal and external or basically what you can control (to an extent) and what you can’t, but it is a bit more complex than that.  Internal would seem to be in your control and it is, but so often it’s difficult because it relates to subconscious negative limiting belief messages about ourselves that we habitually listen to.  It’s that block that’s holding us back in life, keeping you from reaching your goals and frustrating you because you have all these expectations of yourself.  So, in the end, it can be frustration from your own actions or lack of actions in life.  It can leave you in no-man’s or no-woman’s land, watching life go by but all the while, feeling even more worthless than before for letting this happen.  It can create a huge internal stress level that can lead to great feelings of overwhelm, and somatic physical functional symptoms such as IBS that can lead to more serious organic diseases such as diabetes, Addison’s disease and the intermediary – Adrenal Fatigue.

So back to the Shackles – who exactly has the key to these shackles?  I do and you do.  It’s time to free ourselves from ourselves and move forward in life.  ACTION.  This is the second and paramount word in this write-up.  It’s about moving through those uncomfortable feelings, taking one step at a time, detaching from your emotions so that you can clarify what you want, how to get there and what is stopping you and how to problem solve. It helps sometimes to have guidance on this from a psychotherapist or counselor or perhaps a coach.   Moreover, it’s about organizing your goals, your life and simplifying it so that you are not so overwhelmed.  Make a list of priorities (4-5) and make them the first go to everyday, limit or time other activities, esp. distractions such as checking news, or Social Media.  More tips on simplifying here: https://zenhabits.net/simple-living-manifesto-72-ideas-to-simplify-your-life/.

I will be trying these tips myself in my own process of simplifying my own overly complex life (at my own hand).  I used to praise complexity and especially complex people, but I’m now wondering what it would be like to be a simple person or to have a simple life.

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